33 RelationshipPosted: September 9, 2012
A man of many companions may come to ruin, but there is a friend who sticks closer than a brother. Proverbs 18:24 as iron sharpens iron, so one man sharpens another. Proverbs 27:17 Let us not give up meeting together, as some are in the habit of doing, but let us encourage one another—and all the more as you see the Day approaching. Hebrews 10:25
We need good friendships to help us heal from perfectionism. Friendships model God’s love. We were wounded in relationship. We need to be healed in relationship as well. The very agent of our pain becomes the agent of our healing.
God designed us to relate to others. It began in Eden where God said, “It is not good for the man to be alone.” (Gen. 2:18) In Hebrews 10 the verse “Let us not give up meeting together” is nestled in and flows out of our relationship with God. We have drawn near to God, been cleansed and now He turns us toward spurring on one another, not giving up on meeting together and encouraging one another. We need to meet with God and with each other.
Even secular society realizes this. In the blockbuster “Cast Away” the character played by Tom Hanks becomes isolated on a Pacific island. He turns a soccer ball into a face (“Wilson”) just so he has something with which to talk. In his intense aloneness he makes it an idol. Innate to our being is the need to relate and to worship.
If we were severely hurt by others in childhood, relating to people can be terrifying (Relating to God is, at best, void of any warmth, if not full of fear and condemnation). We ask, “What, get close to people after they hurt me so severely?” We continue to place others in the form that was created by the people who hurt us when we were young. Making ourselves vulnerable to others and sharing our hearts with them involves trust. We ultimately need to trust God in learning to trust others and follow His guidance in finding safe people with whom to share. Who is feeding our hearts and spirits? Who encourages our faith? We need to get to know these people better and take risks in sharing with them. They are not the Source of healing, yet God will use them for our healing.
We may become aware of fear as we reveal ourselves to others. Fear is a signal of potential danger. Not everyone is to be trusted. That is why we need to find safe people, ones who “stick closer than a brother.” We need to learn to trust these safe people. This will take time, and we need to give ourselves grace in this process. Like exercising our muscles, we need to exercise our trust. In acting in trust, we find ourselves experiencing more trust.
Sharing myself with you and growing in trust,
WITH ME: Wisdom Intercession Teaching Hospitality Mercy Encouragement
Bringing grace and truth to the downcast; comforting others with the comfort, which we received. We have a dream & need support and prayers.
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