15 Resistance

If you have spent any time owning and letting go (from the last two posts), then you will probably have encountered resistance within yourself.  Owning and letting go require change and bring us into deep heart issues.  Our actions spring from the heart, as Jesus said in Matthew. Tryingto change behavior does no good if our hearts are not changed.  Yet our hearts resist change.  Even when we feel intense pain, our hearts would rather not change because the known pain feels safer than the unknown change.  The old way provides an unhappy settledness.  Pain motivates change.  Yet, at some point, we need to decide to change.

How then do we overcome resistance once we decide to make lasting change in our lives?  We utilize the enabling power of the Holy Spirit (II Peter 1:3).  Yielding to the Holy Spirit involves dying to a habit or way of thinking.  Initially, this letting go can involve even more pain than the pain that motivated us to make a change.  We need to move forward believing that the change will ultimately result in less pain and a more obedient and rested life.  He will bring comfort to us in our pain (Matthew 5:4).  To overcome resistance, we need to trust God’s leading.  We need to believe He knows better than we do what is in our ultimate good.

So I find this law at work:  When I want to do good, evil is right there with me.  For in my inner being I delight in God’s law, but I see another law at work in the members of my body, waging war with the law of my mind and making me a prisoner of the law of sin at work within my members.  Romans 7:21-23

Resolving our issues involves letting go of our resistance to change.  The process can feel like an internal battle and it takes time.  We may need to struggle with deep issues for years.  Unresolved questions from our childhood originated our deep issues.  We needed to know that someone loved us.  Wondering if no one did led us to perfectionism.  Perfectionism became the way we protected ourselves against feeling unloved.  That self-protection is the root of resistance.  Having been wounded when vulnerable, we shielded of our hearts.  This self-protective shell may have defended us as children but it no longer works.

As we continue to experience pain and shame in our process of healing, we continue to resist the process of letting go.  We need to allow ourselves to feel the emotional pain in order to heal.  When we cry out to God, He helps us begin to deal with this pain.  We realize our need for the comfort of the Holy Spirit–the Comforter (John 14).

Perfectionism demands quick solutions.  We need to give ourselves grace as we struggle to heal and grow.  God is healing us.  He will grow us.  He will work out our sanctification.  “Through Christ Jesus the law of the Spirit of life set me free from the law of sin and death.” (Romans 8:2)

Learning to let go of resistance,

Noah Woodrich

WITH ME: Wisdom Intercession Teaching Hospitality Mercy Encouragement

     Bringing grace and truth to the downcast; reflecting the light we have received                                    so that others can better see.  Prayers needed.

Outline:  https://livingwithperfectionism.wordpress.com/


14 Letting Go

Bringing grace and truth to the downcast; reflecting light so others can better see.  God is our Source of light, life, healing and freedom.  We reflect His light through these posts.

To heal from perfectionism, we need to own our actions, thoughts, feelings, etc.  We need to let go of some of these after we own them.  I heard a men’s pastor describe this by a fishing analogy, catch and release.

But if we walk in the light, as He is in the light, we have fellowship with one another, and the blood of Jesus, his Son, purifies us from all sin.   If we claim to be without sin, we deceive ourselves and the Truth is not in us.  If we confess our sins, He is faithful and just and will forgive us our sins and purify from all unrighteousness.  1 John 1:7-9

These verses relate to us forgiveness of sin.  For example, when we take a coat to the dry cleaner for a stain on the sleeve the dry cleaner will remove all the stains he finds; regardless if we knew about them or not.  After confessing, we need to receive forgiveness and let go of the guilt and sin.  Jesus took them.

Regarding making mistakes, we need to own our part and then let go of dwelling on them (dwelling=sitting and spinning).  We tend to beat ourselves up over mistakes.  When we recognize the mistakes, we need to let go.  In our perfectionism, we don’t like to admit that we have been wrong.  Yet owning and letting go helps us to move forward.

Many of us don’t like to own our emotions.  We can be like Spock in Star Trek and deny that we even have emotions.  Our emotions may even seem ungodly.  However, emotions are a part of being human.  We need to own our emotions before letting go of them.  We resist this process.  We need to acknowledge our emotions in order to let go and learn to deal with them in a healthy and holy way.  We can be like children who avoid taking a bath and when we get into the water we don’t want to leave.

Letting go takes time and practice.  Listen to God for how to do it.

Learning to let go,

Noah Woodrich

WITH ME: Wisdom Intercession Teaching Hospitality Mercy Encouragement

     Bringing grace and truth to the downcast; reflecting the light we have received                                    so that others can better see.  Prayers needed.

Outline:  https://livingwithperfectionism.wordpress.com/


13 Owning

We are not victims.  Perhaps we have been misused or neglect.  That does not mean we need to continue to live as victims.  Owning one’s self involves taking responsibility.  However, we often play the blame game to find relief from our guilt and shame.  When we own our part in life, we listen to the Spirit as He points out where we are truly guilty and confess it.  Herein we find abiding relief.   We receive the blood of Jesus and God’s forgiveness for our sin and forgive others who have hurt us and sinned against us.

This is the message we have heard from Him and declare to you: God is light; in Him there is no darkness at all.  If we claim to have fellowship with Him and yet walk in the darkness, we lie and do not live out the truth.  But if we walk in the light, as He is in the light, we have fellowship with one another, and the blood of Jesus, His Son, purifies us from all sin.  If we claim to be without sin, we deceive ourselves and the truth is not in us.  If we confess our sins, He is faithful and just and will forgive us our sins and purify us from all unrighteousness.  If we claim we have not sinned, we make Him out to be a liar and His word is not in us.  I John 1 5-10

In our healing journey, we need to own our sin.  As we do, we need to acknowledge our thoughts, emotions, desires, dreams, decisions and actions as our own.  On one hand, we judge ourselves too harshly.  On the other, we disown parts of who we are and what we have contributed or thought.  In both ways, we practice perfectionism.

Owning our emotions and desires will bring up the pain of past disappointments.  Ignoring pain does not deal with it.  What happens when we ignore a virus in our body?  What happens if we ignore a virus in our computer?  When we ignore, deny or cover emotional pain or sin, we put it in darkness.  It still affects us.  When we own our pain, we bring it into the light of God presence.  “Let us then approach the throne of grace with confidence, so that we may receive mercy and find grace to help us in our time of need.” (Hebrews 4:16)

Learning to live in the light,

Noah Woodrich

WITH ME: Wisdom Intercession Teaching Hospitality Mercy Encouragement

     Bringing grace and truth to the downcast; reflecting the light we have received                                    so that others can better see.  Prayers needed.

Outline:  https://livingwithperfectionism.wordpress.com/


12 Process

This is our twelfth post.  We have experienced God’s blessing in writing them.  I hope that you have been blessed in reading them.  To that end, I request that you pray before or as you read each e-letter.  None of these e-letters mean anything without God’s blessing.

Healing and growth consists of a long journey with many steps.  Each step leads us closer to being Christ-like.  We will not reach the end of our journey or arrive there until Heaven.  Another word for journey is process.  This process of healing and growth takes time; yes, even the rest of our lives.  Perfectionism expects instant success and that we do things right the first time.  We expect ourselves to “know what we know before we know it”.  From our experience we know that instant success is not always possible, but those of us who struggle with perfectionism still feel this self-imposed expectation.

Not that I have already obtained all this, or have already been made perfect, but I press on to take hold of that for which Christ Jesus took hold of me.  Brothers, I do not consider myself yet to have taken hold of it.  But one thing I do:  Forgetting what is behind and straining toward what is ahead.  Philippians 3:12-13

Even the Apostle Paul did not reach perfection in this life!  He recognized his need to grow and lack of perfection.  “Straining toward what is ahead” implies exerting great effort.  We know that life presents many problems, but perfectionism gives us the false message that we should easily master any challenge we undertake.  We need to counter this false message with truth.  Life produces struggle.  Jesus said, “In this world you will have trouble”.  (John 16:33)

We need to give ourselves permission to struggle and not expect ourselves to be at some non-existent there.  We are works in progress.  Remember Paul’s words that he was not perfect and was “straining toward what is ahead”.  We are in process of being healed and grown.  It’s okay that we are not finished yet.  As Brennan Manning says, “God loves us as we are and not as we should be.”

Struggling with you,

Noah Woodrich

WITH ME: Wisdom Intercession Teaching Hospitality Mercy Encouragement

     Bringing grace and truth to the downcast; reflecting the light we have received                                    so that others can better see.  Prayers needed.

Outline:  https://livingwithperfectionism.wordpress.com/